The Worst (and Most Hilarious) National Park Reviews of the Year
Visitors come from across the globe to set foot in our national parks. But some people are simply unimpressed.
The internet gives these people a place to air their grievances. Some now-classic bad national park reviews have made their way further, into illustrations, T-shirts, and needlepoints. “There are bugs, and they will bite you on your face,” they say. Or, “Trees block view and there are too many gray rocks.” “The water is ice-cold,” someone griped about Acadia National Park in Maine, making it onto a poster made by Subpar Parks, which documents bad reviews.
The complaints keep coming. I searched Yelp, TripAdvisor, and Google for the best and worst reviews of our national parks in 2023. To be fair, most of the complaints were about excessive crowds, traffic jams, and new reservation systems. But some visitors had, uh, more nuanced grudges regarding lackluster scenery or were shocked by the lack of amenities. Here are my favorites.
1. Yosemite National Park, California
In California’s Sierra Nevada, Yosemite offers giant granite monoliths, waterfalls, and Sequoia trees up to 3,000 years old. But not everyone sees the beauty.
“Really annoying that it is the same way in and same way out. Scenery is not breathtaking.” —TripAdvisor
“I need someone to explain to me the hype of this place. This place looks like any place with mountains and trees. Too many people, not enough stores, not enough places to buy food.” —Yelp
2. Hawaii Volcanoes National Park
On Hawaii’s Big Island, this park stretches from sea level to 13,680 feet, boasting two of the world’s most active volcanoes. It is not known for its racquet sports, though.
“Absolutely horrible disappointment. There wasn’t a single pickleball court in sight. You’d think with it’s [sic] extreme length of 2.93 mi (4.72 km), an extreme width of 1.95 mi (3.14 km), a circumference of 7.85 mi (12.63 km) and an area of 4.14 sq mi (10.7 km2) they’d find some space for one.”—Yelp
3. Great Smoky Mountains National Park, North Carolina and Tennessee
Straddling two states, GSMNP is 500,000 acres of towering mountains, remote streams, and the most biodiverse wilderness in America. That doesn’t keep the young ’uns from doing their thing.
“Some falls/streams had nothing but toddlers peeing & pooing in the water.”—TripAdvisor
“Can’t say this is one of my fave national parks. No bear sightings but that’s not the park’s fault. … [T]he haziness of it gave me huge headaches.” –TripAdvisor
4. Zion National Park, Utah
Zion offers towering sandstone cliffs and some of the most famous slot canyons in the world. But if you’ve seen one, you’ve seen ’em all.
“The mountains are beautiful, but most of the different formations looked redundant to my untrained eye, so I didn’t see the value in trying to hike around all of them.”—TripAdvisor
“Noxious weeds everywhere.” —Yelp
5. Glacier National Park, Montana
Originally dubbed “the place where there is a lot of ice” by the native Kootenai, Glacier contained 80 glaciers in 1850. Today there are fewer than 30. Yes, sad.
“Where are the glaciers? It was disappointing to stand at lookouts with glaciers in the distance and signage showing glaciers 50 years ago near where I was standing.”—Yelp
6. Arches National Park, Utah
This park holds the largest concentration of sandstone arches in the country, along with countless towering cliffs and towers. But the park’s new timed entry process really annoyed this visitor.
“It’s bad enough every time I turn around the government is bending me over, but having to pay a $2 timed entry to a national park is ridiculous even if we have a yearly pass. Government sucks balls. I hate every last one of you.”—Yelp
7. Shenandoah National Park, Virginia
Shenandoah is known for its lush forests and rocky peaks as well as hosting a long section of the world-famous Appalachian Trail. The shrubs are also pretty cool, I guess.
“It was a mountainous area with trees, and some nice shrubbery [sic], but unfortunately it wasn’t that entertaining. Underwhelming.” —TripAdvisor
8. Great Sand Dunes National Park and Preserve, Colorado
The tallest dunes in North America sit at the base of the Sangre de Cristo Mountains. That didn’t impress this reviewer.
“It’s $25 to get in and it’s basically just a lot of sand. There are not a lot of amenities or other things to do. You can basically walk up the sand dunes and use boogie boards or sleds to spice it up a little. … I just didn’t feel like it was really worth the long drive and money to see a bunch of sand. —TripAdvisor
9. Death Valley National Park, California and Nevada
Death Valley is the lowest point in the United States, below sea level and characterized by a vast salt basin, deep canyons, and historic ghost towns. The wildlife can be rude at times.
“It was boring, a ghost town really. I was charged 23 dollars a night just to be harassed by snake while walking around.” —Yelp
10. Yellowstone National Park, Wyoming, Montana, and Idaho
America’s first national park, Yellowstone might be the most dramatic and unusual landscape in the country–a place where the water boils and shoots straight up into the air at regular intervals. But the geysers aren’t for everyone.
“I was excited before I got there, but it wasn’t at all what I expected…I saw a picture of it, but it was taken by a drone and when I looked at Yellowstone from up close I had no idea what was there at all with the steam and angles. —Google
“The whole place smelled like farts.” —Google
11. Glacier Bay National Park and Preserve, Alaska
The 3.3-million acre Glacier Bay is a frozen wonderland where the sea meets the ice in a tangle of fjords, glaciers, and snow-capped peaks. Is it any better than what you’d find in your Frigidaire?
“It’s like some ice cubes got scattered on a hill.” –Google Maps
Graham Averill is Outside magazine’s national parks columnist. He loves pickleball, but has never left a bad review because a national park didn’t have courts.
For more by this author, see:
How to Score the Best National Park Campsites for Summer
Spooky Tales from Haunted National Parks
The Best Budget Airlines—and Adventure Locales They Go To
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